Celebrity Big Brother 2006 Final

Chantelle Houghton became the first non celebrity (officially, anyway) to win Celebrity Big Brother. After three drawn out weeks, the 22-year-old shortened from 161 to become the shortest favourite ever at an incredible 18.

She is set to do quite well from her stint “on the telly” and is likely to become paparazzi fodder for the weekly D-list trash magazines. She has found a new best mate in media whore Jodie Marsh to ensure she is never too far out of the limelight.

On the plus side, Chantelle won ahead of the awful Michael Barrymore, the initial bookmaker’s favourite at 31. The alleged “TV funnyman” spent most of his stint in the house crying, whinging, or both and tactlessly advised anyone who didn’t like him to “jump in a lake”.

As with Michael Barrymore, I also correctly predicted Maggot would make the last four but at 221 he was never going to win. The rapper had an uneventful stay in the house, proving he was there merely to “make up the numbers” as he pointed out on Day One.

Second favourite at 91 Preston finished in fourth position and looked a bit shocked not to have finished higher. A re-release of his biggest hit to date, “Boys Will Be Boys”, is on the cards.

Chart success will also be forthcoming for Pete Burns who was greeted by a cacophony of boos from the live audience. These same idiots will buy the umpteenth re-release of “You Spin Me Around”. Burns laughably suggested he was sick of the song and wouldn’t release it again. Come off it, it’s been at least three years since it was last in the charts!

Traci Bingham, at 1001, finished in sixth place and surprisingly her limited vocabulary of “awesome” and “wow” got her through nearly 15 minutes worth of interview.

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